We Are Not Our Hair

Recently I cut my hair but if I'm being honest, it's something I've been considering for a long time. Almost my entire life, I've had a bad relationship with my hair. It never seemed as nice as anyone else's. It was most definitely not "easy to manage," or "healthy." The majority of my teenage years and twenties , I was trying desperately to make my hair what it wasn't, straight and smooth. 

Of course we know the whole reason why we've had the idea that straight, smooth hair is the most beautiful, main-stream society, social influences yada yada. If you have that type of hair, more power to you. But it wasn't mine and like it or not, that was something I had to accept. 

I ran the idea by my husband, "I'm thinking about cutting my hair." His response "you've been saying that for years." Boy, was he right as ever. See, last year I stopped straightening my hair to really begin to love myself. You can read about that here. And yet, there was still a part of me holding onto the idea that long hair is beautiful. As if society was beginning to make the exception for curly hair but long hair was preferred. I used to flip through entire Victoria Secrets catalogues to find not one person with short hair featured. By featured, I mean there was no one in sight, at all. 

I'd tell friends and family, I think I'm going to cut my hair and receive "no, Amandaaaaa, whyyy?" I usually ended up chickening out because I thought that may be they knew something I didn't know. I think about all the women who cling to their hair, seriously wanting that chop but never building the chops. I finally cut my hair for them. 

I had to sike myself up for it and I had to remember, when we get haircuts, it does not hurt and so it isn't part of us. Hair is beautiful, hair is gorgeous, no matter the color, texture or length. But, my dear, hair is not us. This is how I know, when I change my hair I'm still a photographer, I still love coffee and eat cinnamon toast crunch by the box, When I had cut my hair, I remained a defender of equal rights, I remained a strong woman. My favorite movie? It was still The Usual Suspects when I walked out of the salon. 

So get your hair done, look fabulous but just know that it does not define you. Next time you think about using the title "bad hair day" maybe you should call it a "good moral day" or an "I love coffee day." You are not your hair. We are not our hair. You are beautiful, through it all. 


we are not our hair


Amanda Lee